Mini Episode 5 Transcript

Mini Episode 5 - For Mark #2
By Lauren Shippen

[sfx: iPhone voice memo beep]

Sam: Okay, so, I realize that my last message makes it sound like you’re my missing wife? Which is- look, I’m not trying to suggest anything by that or- I mean, I know we haven’t really talked that much about us - not that there is an us but I kind of got the impression that maybe there could be and- Ugh, sorry, I should maybe just stop recording-

[sfx: iPhone voice memo beep]

Sam: The thing is: you called me an “amazing woman”. You know, when you were with Damien, in the van? And I know that you were pretty out of it, you know, having just woken up from the coma and everything but still, you said “amazing woman” so I just thought that maybe- ugh.

[sfx: iPhone voice memo beep]

Sam: You know what? This isn’t even completely about you. I don’t want you thinking I quit my job and started galavanting around the country just for you. I mean, I am looking for you, I’m taking this seriously but it’s just- I needed to change something in my life. And I mean, I guess I did that when I started seeing Dr. Bright and getting control of my ability but...

I’m not sure I would have actually ever done anything with it. I keep thinking about that session I had after I saw the accident again - I was so convinced that I could go back and save my parents. And maybe I can - maybe, I can get really, really good at this. But there’s something in my gut that keeps telling me it’s not possible. That it isn’t possible to mess with time and space that much.

But saving you- and I know it all went pear-shaped because Joan and I got too carried away to actually stop and think about what we were doing - but I still got you out of there. I did save you. I did something good with this horrible aspect of my life that I’d all but given up on. And that’s not for nothing. I’ve been sleepwalking through my life - just waiting for the other shoe to drop, to get stuck, or to hurt someone again, or for someone to find out about me and lock me up and experiment on me- god, I'm sorry.

Working with Joan, and meeting you, and saving you it- it woke me up. It gave me a purpose - showed me that I’m worth existing in this time. You showed me that. So thank you, I guess.

Didn’t I start by saying this wasn’t about you? I guess it is in that way that people you meet in your life can change you. And it doesn’t mean that you’re defined by them. They just act as a catalyst. You were my catalyst. And now, maybe, I get to be yours.

I’m not any closer to tracking you down but I know wherever you are, you must be sleepwalking too. You don’t know what’s real, who to trust, if your sister is everything Damien says she is. Which, she’s not, by the way. And I’m guessing you still think you made me up. And that’s gotta be messing with your head. But I’m going to find you. And I’m going to wake you up. Again.

Because that’s who I am now. In my life post-you, post-Joan. I am a person who leaves her cat with her therapist and crosses the state border for the first time in ten years to try and outsmart a man who could literally do whatever he wanted to anyone. I’m the knight who’s going to save the prince from the dragon. God, sorry, that’s stupid. But that’s how I feel. I’m not scared anymore. I mean, well, no, I’m still scared by a lot of things - things in the past - but the future doesn’t scare me so much anymore. Moving forward through time doesn’t scare me.

I asked you once what you were afraid of. After I told you about the things I’ve seen. And you got this look on your face - one hadn’t seen before and you went so quiet. Minutes went by and you didn’t answer. And then I left before you could. Although, maybe you never would have.

What are you afraid of, Mark? What couldn’t you tell me?

[sfx: iPhone voice memo beep]