Episode 40 Transcript
40 - Safe House Part II
By Lauren Shippen
Caleb: Oh my god, what did I-? Fuck. I didn’t mean to- Is he-?
Mark: Damien? Damien? He’s unconscious.
Chloe: Of course he’s unconscious, did you see-
Caleb: Oh my god-
Frank: Sam, do you have a first aid kit?
Sam: Huh? Uh, yeah, yeah- hold on.
[sfx: Sam leaving room]
Chloe: Dr. Bright, is he-?
Dr. Bright: I don’t know. I’m not actually a medical doctor.
Caleb: Oh god.
Mark: We need to do something.
Frank: We need to stop the bleeding-
[sfx: Sam re-entering room]
Sam: Here, I have bandages.
Frank: Sam, can you put pressure-
Chloe: He’s- he’s breathing, right?
Sam: Yeah, he’s breathing. But his pulse feels kind of weak? I don’t know, I’m not an expert. Most of my first aid knowledge is not modern.
Frank: I’m not a medic. But I’d say at least three of his ribs are broken. But that might not be our biggest problem.
Caleb: What do you mean?
Frank: He might have a serious brain injury. I’ve seen this before and we’ll be SOL with the supplies we have if he doesn’t wake up in the next thirty minutes. The longer he’s unconscious-
Caleb: Oh my god, what did I do-
Adam: Caleb, calm down, it’s gonna be-
Caleb: No, don’t touch me! I’m- no, god, I’m sorry, I'm sorry
Frank: Caleb - Caleb, look at me. Look at me. That’s good. Come with me, okay?
Caleb: No, I need to help-
Frank: You can’t be in this room right now. It’s not helping anyone.
Frank: I’ve got this. Trust me.
Frank: Sam, can you-?
[sfx: Frank and Caleb leaving the room]
Chloe: Just give him some space, okay?
Dr. Bright: Adam, you should call your parents, you shouldn’t be here-
Adam: No, no way I'm leaving Caleb.
Dr. Bright: You’re seventeen and this situation just turned extremely serious—
Mark: Oh god-
Chloe: Should we move him? To the couch or something?
Sam: Are you good to stand?
Mark: He needs to go to a hospital, look at him-
Sam: We can’t take him to the hospital-
Adam: What are you talking about?
Dr. Bright: Sam’s right- atypical biology. It’s different. If he has brain damage, there’s no way of knowing whether a regular hospital would be able to treat him correctly-
Adam: Brain damage?
Dr. Bright: It’s a possibility. I don’t know anything about Damien’s biology because he’s never-
Chloe: -because he’s never been to The AM.
Dr. Bright: This is more or less what they’re for.
Mark: No, no way.
Mark: We’re not taking him there.
Dr. Bright: Mark, we may not be able to help him here-
Mark: We should at least try. I know you’re not a medical doc, but surely you know some of the basics.
Dr. Bright: CPR and the Heimlich but, Mark, we are not equipped for this. Unless someone has medical experience we don’t know about.
Adam: What, a room full of superheroes, and none of you knows first aid?
Chloe: You’re the one with doctors for parents!
Adam: I rebelled! I’m gonna be an English major.
Mark: It seems like Frank knows what he’s doing-
Chloe: To a point. Mark, you can read his thoughts too, you know he doesn’t have the training for this-
Sam: Wait- your parents!
Sam: They’re neuroscientists, right? Who have worked with atypicals?
Dr. Bright: Wadsworth was the one working with atypicals - she gave them the required biological material and they synthesized the Unity serum from it.
Chloe: And how do you know that?
Sam: Okay, but even if they didn’t work with atypicals directly, they would have had to know something about atypical biology, right?
Adam: I guess, but-
Dr. Bright: Let’s start by moving him to the couch.
[sfx: Caleb pacing]
Frank: Caleb, I need you to take some deep breaths with me, okay?
Caleb: I can’t. I can’t- why did I-? Fuck. Oh my god, fuck. I didn’t mean to, you have to know I didn’t mean to.
Frank: I know. I know. But you need to focus with me now, okay? We don’t want you hyperventilating. Breath with me. In. Out. In. Out. Good, that’s good. Just keep doing that, okay?
Caleb: Why are you so calm right now?
Frank: You get to a certain level of stress in combat where everything just kind of evens out. These kinds of scrapes aren’t new to me.
Caleb: Oh my god-
Frank: Hey- just keep breathing, okay?
Caleb: I didn’t mean to.
Frank: I know.
Caleb: How could I do that? How could I hurt someone that much? There was so much - there's so much blood and I- ugh, I feel dizzy.
[sfx: Caleb sliding down wall]
Frank: Okay, okay, sit- sit down, put your head between your knees.
Caleb: I’ve never- I mean, I’ve gotten into fights before but I didn’t think- I didn’t think I would ever- I mean, I just couldn’t stop, you know? It was like I was somebody else and it wasn’t- it didn’t even feel like me. I thought I would never- but I did. I did. I’ve never ever felt like this way. Like I’m dying. Like I want to be dead.
[sfx: Frank sitting]
Frank: We forgot, you know. When we were first out there, before- well, doing what we did, we forgot how hard it should be to hurt someone. War is impersonal, in a way. We hide behind drones, or automatics, or the flag. And we forget. It becomes easy. Hurting becomes easy. This isn’t supposed to be easy, Caleb. The way you feel now, I know it’s not a good feeling, but the alternative can be worse.
Caleb: What do you mean?
Frank: Feeling nothing at all.
Caleb: I didn’t mean to.
Frank: I know, Caleb. I know.
Caleb: Thank you.
Frank: For what?
Caleb: For being calm. It’s, uh- it’s working. It’s making me calm.
Frank: You’re welcome, but, uh, I think I should apologize.
Caleb: What, why?
Frank: I was so angry at him for hurting Chloe and for threatening you all and- well, I know my emotions aren’t always the easiest thing for you to deal with.
Caleb: I think that’s mutual, isn’t it?
Frank: It can be.
Caleb: I think this is actually the first time our feelings have ever matched up.
Frank: I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
Caleb: I felt his fear - somewhere, in the back of my brain, I could feel it. And I kept going. I just couldn’t let him hurt Adam. I couldn’t-
Frank: I know, Caleb. You were protecting your own. I understand. We all understand.
Caleb: That doesn’t make it okay.
Frank: No, it doesn’t. But you can survive this.
Caleb: Should we, uh- should we go check on everyone?
Frank: You know, I think you should stay in here for a bit. Let the adults handle this.
[sfx: Frank standing]
Frank: I’ll go see what’s going on out there, alright? Just stay here and keep breathing.
[sfx: opening door]
Mark: Adam, do you think your parents would be willing to help Damien?
Adam: I don’t know, probably, but-
Mark: But what?
Chloe: Mark, be nice-
Mark: Sorry, there’s just a lot of- emotions are high, right now, okay?
Sam: Mark, just close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Pull your focus in, okay? Just listen to my voice and focus on yourself.
Mark: Thanks, Sam.
Dr. Bright: Your control is coming back, I see.
Chloe: So? Should Adam call his parents? We need to do something.
Dr. Bright: I-
Mark: They might be the only ones who can help.
Adam: I don’t know, guys. I’m not sure that’s the best idea.
Chloe: Do you think they would tell Annabelle?
Adam: No, it’s not that- well, they might but- well, my parents are really overprotective. If they see Damien like this and find out that my boyfriend made him that way, they’re gonna freak.
Mark: Okay, but do we have to tell them? That it was Caleb, I mean.
Adam: I just- I want to talk to Caleb first, okay? That’s my priority.
Dr. Bright: Okay.
Sam: Fine. In the mean time, I’ll start- I don’t know, I’ll start cleaning him up.
Dr. Bright: Sam, do you want me to-
Sam: It’s okay. I’ve observed triage enough times to have gotten the general idea.
Chloe: Is everyone else okay?
Dr. Bright: Yes.
Mark: Yeah, fine.
Dr. Bright: We should take a look at Caleb once he’s- well, once he’s calmed down a little.
[sfx: Frank entering the room]
Frank: How’s he doing?
Sam: I don’t know - I can’t tell how severe his injuries are with all the-
Frank: With all the blood.
Frank: Here, let me give you a hand.
Adam: How’s Caleb?
Frank: He’s been better.
Adam: Do you think it would be alright if I went in there?
Frank: Yeah. Yeah, I think you’d be good for him right now.
Adam: Okay. Then I’ll just-
[sfx: Adam walking to the back bedroom and opening the door]
Adam: Caleb? Are you- how you doing?
Caleb: Is he gonna be okay?
Adam: I don’t know.
[sfx: Adam sitting]
Adam: Jesus, Caleb:, your hands- we need to get you bandages or something-
Caleb: No, just- leave it, please.
Adam: Okay. We don’t have to do it right now.
Caleb: Why are you here?
Adam: I wanted to check on you.
Caleb: No, I mean- why are you here? Why haven’t you left?
Adam: What do you mean? I know I’m not an atypical, but I’m a part of this. I mean, I’m the reason that you- just. I’m a part of this.
Caleb: How can you- why didn’t you run the other way the moment- I mean, you saw what I did. Why would you- how could you still want to be around me after that?
Adam: Caleb, I love you.
Caleb: How? I almost killed somebody- I mean, I might have killed somebody. We have no idea if he’s- I mean, he’s out there, covered in bruises that I put on him and he-
Adam: Shh, shh, it’s going to be okay. Dr. Bright is going to figure something out.
Caleb: I didn’t mean to, you have to know I didn’t mean to-
Adam: I know you didn’t-
Caleb: He was going to hurt you and- and- and Mark and Sam and Frank were so angry and I don’t get- I don’t get how they control it, how they keep that kind of anger in. I felt like it was controlling me and I- I just lost it.
Adam: Shh, I know, babe, I know.
Caleb: I think I broke one of my fingers. I mean- I felt something crack. On my hand. And I hit him hard- I hit him so hard and I kept on hitting him, why didn’t anyone pull me off? Why didn’t anyone stop me?
Adam: We tried. You were- I’ve never seen you like that.
Caleb: Oh god.
Adam: It wasn’t you, Caleb. It was your ability - like you said, other people’s anger, taking over you and taking control-
Caleb: But I am my ability. And the anger- some of it was mine. And in that moment- in that moment- in that moment, I just wanted to hurt him. He was gonna hurt you and so I wanted to hurt him and I did and now he won’t wake up and what if I do it again? I thought I had it under control, but I don’t, what if I never get it under control?
Adam: You will-
Caleb: How can you know? Why aren’t you afraid of me?
Caleb: You just saw me go completely- you watched me beat a guy into the ground. And I know he’s not, like, our favorite guy, but that’s not an excuse- it’s- it's not okay. Why are you sitting here with me? Why don’t you think I’m a monster? Why aren’t you afraid of me?
Adam: Because you could never hurt me.
Caleb: No offense, Adam, but I’m much bigger than you. I know you’re scrappy but-
Adam: No, I mean you, Caleb, could never hurt me, Adam.
Caleb: You don’t know that. What if- what if I get mad at you and- and I lose it? Oh god, what if I did hurt you?
Adam: You couldn’t.
Caleb: Look at my hands, Adam. Look at all this blood. Most of it isn’t even mine.
Adam: You would never hurt me.
Caleb: Not on purpose.
Adam: No, not at all.
Caleb: How can you still believe that after what you just saw?
Adam: Because, Caleb, that’s not who you are. The guy who kisses me the way that you do, who holds me the way that you do, the guy who makes me laugh the way you make me laugh - that guy could never hurt me. You're that guy.
Caleb: I wasn’t that guy earlier.
Adam: You- you had a bad moment.
Caleb: A bad moment?
Adam: Okay, it's not the best choice of words I guess, but that’s not who you are. We all make mistakes.
Caleb: Not like this.
Adam: Okay, yeah, this was bad. But you’re not the first good person to do something bad to someone else. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good person anymore.
Caleb: What if it does?
Adam: It doesn’t.
Caleb: How do you know? You’ve never hurt anyone.
Adam: I used to hurt myself, you know.
Adam: When things got really bad, I would- well, you know that long scar on my stomach? The one I told you I got from falling off my bike?
Adam: I lied. I was- it was- I messed up one time. Really badly. Most of the time I was careful, you know, just little cuts here and there, but that time I got- I got a bit carried away and, well, I had to go to the hospital.
Adam: My parents have never looked at me the same way. They made me do, like, a rehab thing for a few weeks.
Caleb: When- wait, when was this?
Adam: Two years ago. Over the summer. No one at school knows about it.
Caleb: Adam, I’m so sorry-
Adam: There's nothing you could have done.
Caleb: Do you- you don’t still-
Adam: Sometimes I want to. But after that time, I got too scared to. I never wanted to die, that wasn’t the point. And now the therapy’s been helping. Which I have you to thank for, in a way. After we broke up before the summer, when you left, I talked to Dr. Bright a bit and she, well, she kind of convinced me to go. I don’t think she was even really trying to, but that’s when I started going. I asked my parents to find me, you know, like, a normal therapist and it’s been- it’s been good. But if Damien had- well, I’m grateful, I guess. I mean, it’s fucked up, what you did, but I’m grateful.
Caleb: Why didn’t you ever tell me?
Adam: Which part?
Caleb: Any of it. All of it. I thought we said no more secrets.
Adam: I didn’t want you to hate me. Be afraid of me or afraid for me or look at me in disgust. I didn’t want it to change the way you thought about me.
Caleb: I would never-
Adam: No, I know you wouldn’t. Because I don’t think less of you for what you did. I think I understand a little - the need to hurt.
Caleb: Adam, it’s not the same-
Adam: Yeah, I know. I know. But feeling that kind of helplessness, it can drive you to do stuff. And I know that I’m not the empath here but I think I get how you’re feeling right now - I know what it’s like to really hate yourself. But it’s not all you are. It’s not all I am either. It doesn’t have to define us. And I love you, no matter what. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You can trust me.
Caleb: Yeah. Yeah, of course. I trust you. Always.
Adam: Good. That’s good.
Caleb: Adam, you’ll tell me if it gets that bad again, right? I don’t want you to deal with that alone. I mean, I like to think that I’d know but you’ll just- you'll just tell me, right?
Adam: Yeah, Caleb, I’ll tell you.
Caleb: Thank you.
Adam: I mean, like you said, you’d probably know anyway. Even if you weren’t an empath, you’d notice if new scars showed up on my body.
Caleb: Okay, first, don’t even joke about that. But no, I meant thank you for being here. For loving me despite - for just loving me. Even with everything that’s happened.
Adam: This is what counts, right? Not just enjoying the good times but sticking through the bad. For better and for worse and all that?
Caleb: What, are you proposing to me?
Adam: Well I can’t exactly put a ring on a broken finger, can I? Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up.
[sfx: boys getting up]
Sam: Do you think that needs stitches?
Frank: Hard to say- just keep pressure on it for now.
Sam: That won’t-
Frank: I know.
Dr. Bright: The AM has services for this.
Chloe: How does that work exactly? We could just drop him off?
Dr. Bright: We’d have to explain his ability so they know what to treat. But yes.
Chloe: And then they would release him when he’s better?
Dr. Bright: Ideally.
Mark: Nope. No way.
Dr. Bright: Mark, you wouldn’t have to come-
Mark: There’s no way they would release him. They’d- they’d do the same thing and he’d- look, it’s not safe.
Dr. Bright: Mark-
Mark: I’m sorry, but we’re not taking him there.
Dr. Bright: We might not have a choice.
Mark: Sam and Frank seem to have it covered!
Sam: Mark, we can maybe stop the bleeding but he might need surgery.
Mark: So we’ll call Adam’s parents-
Dr. Bright: Even if they did help, they would still need equipment-
Mark: So they can take him to a hospital, use the equipment there-
Dr. Bright: It might not work. Damien’s brain might not scan in the same way and they wouldn’t be able to tell if there’s something wrong. The AM has special equipment-
Mark: I know what kind of equipment The AM has.
Dr. Bright: Mark-
Mark: Is he waking up?
Chloe: His eyes aren’t opening.
Mark: Yeah, well, it looks like one of his eyes can’t open, it’s so swollen-
Damien: (groans & mumbles)
Mark: Damien. Damien, can you hear me? You’re gonna be okay, I promise. Come on, man, just please just wake up.
[sfx: Adam entering room]
Adam: Sorry, could someone- Caleb’s hands are kind of messed up. I don’t really know what-
Frank: Let me take a look at them.
Sam: There’s some more bandages in the bathroom.
[sfx: Frank and Adam leaving]
Mark: Come on, Damien…he was definitely trying to talk, wasn’t he? And I think he tried to squeeze my hand. That’s a good sign, right?
Chloe: Why don’t we give him some space. Dr. Bright and I will look after him. You should take a break.
Mark: I don’t need a break.
Chloe: Mark, your thoughts are all over the place right now, okay? You’re not useful like this.
Mark: I don’t care. I need to fix him.
Dr. Bright: Mark, you can’t.
Mark: Jesus Christ, why is everyone looking at me like that? What do you think I’m going to do?
Sam: Mark, why don’t we go into the other room for a few minutes.
Mark: What, why? Are you guys going to sneak off to The AM when I’m not looking?
Dr. Bright: Of course not. But Damien seems as stable as he can be at the moment and I think all of us could us a few minutes to cool down. Wait and see if he wakes up.
Mark: Fine. Jesus…
[sfx: Mark leaving and Sam following]
Sam: We can’t keep him here, Mark. You know that.
[sfx: door closing]
Sam: He needs to go- I don’t know, he needs help. Real, professional help.
Mark: I know. I know. I just - we can’t take him to The AM. I can’t do that to him.
Sam: How can you- why do you still take his side?
Mark: I’m not taking his side!
Sam: But you’re defending him!
Mark: Just because I don’t want the guy to bleed out on your couch doesn’t mean I’m defending him. Wait, are you- are you jealous?
Mark: Caleb’s in the next room, I can feel it. Don’t hide from me, Sam.
Sam: I’m not jealous. Okay, maybe I am a little bit. But I just don’t understand what he is to you! Or what you are to him.
Mark: This is unbelievable.
Sam: Just tell me - do you have feelings for him?
Mark: Is this really the best time to be discussing this? And god, you don’t have to feel so disgusted while asking that question - does it really repulse you that much that your boyfriend can be attracted to men?
Sam: What? No, of course not- Jesus, Mark. It’s that man! It’s- it worries me. Because he’s not a good man. He’s treated you terribly. He’s treated all of us terribly. And god knows what he would have done to Adam if Caleb- look, it doesn’t mean that I want him to die, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about how much you care.
Mark: I know, I- I am too. Nervous, I mean. I don’t know what he is to me either.
Sam: Well, what are you thinking about him right now?
Mark: I’m thinking that I don’t want to watch him die. But I also wanted to beat his face in myself.
Mark: I hate what he did to me - tricking me like that, messing with my head. But I also- his ability, it’s so- I think I understand him a little more now. Now that I’ve felt what it’s like. And that doesn’t make it okay - nothing about this is okay - but having that ability his entire life can’t have been easy, you know? I guess- I guess I sort of feel bad for him.
Sam: Okay, I think I can understand that.
[sfx: Mark sitting]
Mark: So: complicated, I guess. Is how I would describe my emotions towards him.
Sam: Right. I’m just-
Mark: You’re worried I’ve been manipulated into it. Into caring about him at all.
Mark: Me too.
Sam: “How quickly pity leads to love”.
[sfx: Sam sitting]
Sam: Sorry, it’s just- it’s a line, from this musical. “Passion”, it’s sad. But good.
Mark: Will you sing for me?
Mark: I know you don’t need to anymore, because I’m here now and have the internet but I- I miss it and I just need- everything is so, uh- I need to get out of my head for a second. Would you?
Sam: What do you want me to sing?
Sam: Okay. “Someone like you wasn't meant to be defined/or confined/or even met eye to eye/just there to be explored/and then all the while adored/someone like you/someone like you”. You don’t pity me, right?
Sam: When we first met, that’s not why you- I’m not some sob story that you felt bad for?
Mark: No, Sam, of course not. You’re one of the strongest people I know.
Sam: I’m not sure about that.
Mark: Think about everything that’s happened in the past few hours. It’s been a nightmare and you haven’t flickered once. You’ve been solidly here the whole time.
Sam: Oh. Oh, yeah, you’re right.
Mark: You are strong. After everything you’ve been through, you’re still so good.
Sam: He says sitting in a heavily-surveilled safe house that I bought after breaking into a secure server and blackmailing a government agent.
Mark: Well, there are many different definitions of good, Sam.
Sam: I’m so glad we share the same moral ambiguities.
Mark: Important bedrock for any relationship.
Sam: So true. Boyfriend?
Sam: Earlier you said- you called yourself my boyfriend.
Mark: Oh. Yeah. Well-
Sam: I mean, that’s- we just haven't-
Mark: No, I know, we haven’t discussed it really-
Sam: Things have just been so crazy-
Mark: Yeah, I know, I didn’t mean to presume-
Sam: No, it’s okay-
Mark: It sorta of slipped out.
Sam: This probably isn’t the best time to be making any decisions about the status of our relationship, is it?
Mark: Probably not. I can’t be objective about this, can I?
Sam: I don’t know, Mark.
Mark: I don’t want to leave the decision up to my sister but I can’t- I don’t trust myself to be objective about this. And I know you all don’t either.
Sam: No, we- yeah. Okay. We don’t.
Mark: I just want to move past all this.
Sam: I know. But I’m not sure you can. At least not until you confront some stuff.
Mark: What stuff?
Sam: You’ve been through a lot of trauma, Mark. And I don’t think you’re dealing with it.
Mark: I think I’ve been dealing just fine. Up until about thirty minutes ago, at least.
Sam: Have you? I’m not trying to judge or pretend that I know better than you but I just- do you know why I didn’t tell you about this house?
Sam: Because I worried that you would just move in and never leave. I know what it looks like when you shut yourself off from the world, Mark. I have an Olympic gold medal in shutting myself off from the world. And it’s not- it never works how you want it to. I didn’t want to give you the perfect venue to ignore your problems.
Mark: You’ve let me stay cooped up with you and Darwin whenever I want.
Sam: But I try- I try to get you out. And at least at my place you have company but- Mark. There are only so many pictures you can take of Darwin. I know he’s cute but- you don’t sleep. I never know if I should acknowledge it or if there’s something I should be doing because I’m not used to having someone there but you’re never asleep for more than half an hour and that’s not- you can’t live like that.
Mark: I know but I- I can’t- I can't and you— you of all people should be able to understand that!
Sam: I do, god, Mark, of course I do. And that’s why I don’t want to see you waste your life away. And I know that you need time and I don’t want to push you but I- I can see the patterns forming. I know those patterns. I’ve done this. And I was miserable for years. And I still- sometimes everything I’ve seen, every moment that I’ve spent alone just swells up and threatens to drown me. And even when it's cleared away, what’s left is the fact that it’s my fault that I don’t have a family but- you changed that for me. I found family right where I lost it and I- it doesn’t make up for what happened ten years ago and it doesn’t give me back all of the years I’ve spent not living but it broke me out of my cycle and it gave me a choice. And, even with everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t choose anything different. You were my catalyst and I just want to return the favor.
Mark: Sam, it’s not balance sheet-
Sam: No, I know that-
Mark: But you’ve saved me. God, you saved me over and over. Even when you weren’t there just knowing that you existed. I thought I could come back and find that oasis again and have everything be fine but it’s not- I’m not fine. And I- I don’t want to burden you with all of that. You don’t tie an anchor to someone who’s already drowning. Sam, I didn’t-
Sam: No, I get it. I get it, I’m not exactly the poster child for coping-
Mark: No, no, Sam, c'mon it's just-
Sam: No, I know-
Mark: It’s just, well, you don’t sleep great either. I don’t want to give you fresh material for your nightmares.
Sam: Mark, if you really don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to. I can be the happy, safe place - we can be that for each other, maybe. But then you should talk to Joan. Your sister can be good at this. And I know that things are sort of weird between you two right now, and I’m not even going to pretend that I know why, but you should talk to her.
Mark: I don’t- I’m not sure I want to.
Sam: You’re actually pretty good at talking about your feelings, Mark- you’re never afraid to say what’s on your mind. But I can feel you leaving out years of stuff and I just think it would be good for you and your sister to talk about what happened to you.
[sfx: Mark stands]
Mark: She can guess what the last five years were like. She used to work there.
Mark: I need some air.
[sfx: Mark walking away]
Dr. Bright: How are you feeling, Chloe?
Chloe: I’m okay. I’ll be honest, I’m not the best with all this blood stuff- I mean, I thought I’d gotten used to it, seeing it in- well, the company I keep, you know?
Dr. Bright: Yes, both Sam and Frank seemed fairly unfazed.
Chloe: But I’m not- I’m- I’m very fazed. Sam’s gonna need to buy a new couch.
Dr. Bright: Knowing Sam, she may just buy a new house.
Chloe: Ha, yeah. Oh god, I don’t feel good.
Dr. Bright: Do you feel faint?
Chloe: Yeah, it’s just- oh, I think I need to lie down for a second. Just need to find an unbloody patch of carpet.
[sfx: Chloe lying on the floor]
Chloe: I think the adrenaline is leaving my body, that’s a thing right?
Dr. Bright: Chloe, it’s very possible that you have a concussion.
Chloe: That’s not good news. Stupid Damien.
Dr. Bright: Indeed.
Chloe: What do I do? I can’t go to the normal hospital either, can I?
Dr. Bright: No, I don’t think you can. You just need to rest.
Chloe: I thought you’re not supposed to sleep when you have a concussion.
Dr. Bright: You’re able to hold a conversation, which is a good sign. Though, you were a little unsteady on your feet earlier. You should wait for the dizziness to pass and then go lie down on one of the beds.
Dr. Bright: Can you hear my thoughts?
Chloe: No, I’m not listening to you right now, Dr. Bright, don’t worry about it-
Dr. Bright: No, that’s not- I want you to listen. Are you able to hear my thoughts right now?
Chloe: Yeah. I think so. It’s just a little loud in this house at the moment.
Dr. Bright: But it hasn’t gone quiet?
Chloe: No. No, it never goes quiet.
Dr. Bright: That’s good.
Chloe: Could a concussion do that to someone like me? Make it quiet?
Dr. Bright: It’s one of the short-term symptoms of a concussion in telepaths. The fact that that hasn’t happened is a good sign.
Chloe: Oh. Right. I guess there’s lots of weird complications that come with being atypical, huh?
Dr. Bright: It does make treatment more difficult sometimes, yes.
Chloe: I thought maybe you just wanted to give Damien over to The AM.
Dr. Bright: No. No, it would not have been my first choice. It may be our only choice, though.
Chloe: Yeah. Mark is not going to like that.
Dr. Bright: I know.
[sfx: back door opening]
Caleb: Oh. Hey.
Caleb: Are you-? Right.
Mark: Yeah. And you’re-?
[sfx: Caleb starting to walk away]
Mark: Okay, no, I’m sorry, that’s bullshit. Just because we can feel what each other is feeling doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it.
Mark: Come on, sit down.
[sfx: Caleb sitting]
Mark: How are you doing, really?
Caleb: Better. Frank bandaged my hands up.
Mark: Good, that’s good. I’m really sorry.
Mark: About my part in all of this.
Mark: My anger. I shouldn't have- I should have kept it together.
Caleb: God, you and Frank both.
Caleb: Both apologizing for just feeling stuff. You didn’t do this. You were keeping it together. I’m the one that lost it.
Mark: Okay, fair enough. And that was not good.
Caleb: Yeah, thanks, I know.
Mark: But neither is bottling everything up. Being in that room with everybody, I feel like- well, you get it.
Caleb: Yeah. It’s intense
Mark: You’re still doing therapy, right?
Caleb: Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been doing it for like, over a fucking year and then this- I thought I had it under control, you know? Way back when- well, the reason I’m in therapy in the first place is that I got into this fight at school. I got really angry and just lunged at this guy. I mean, he was being a real dick, but still- and then I started doing therapy and things were getting better and it was getting easier to control and then I met Adam and he just- he grounds me, you know?
Caleb: And so I just thought- I don’t know, I thought I didn’t need to worry about it anymore. I thought I wasn’t going to get angry like that again.
Mark: Your boyfriend was threatened and you were in a room full of furious people whose anger was directed very specifically.
Caleb: Are you saying I never stood a chance?
Mark: No, no, I'm not- I’m saying- I’m saying that your guard was down because you’ve made a lot of progress. And that’s understandable but it never- just because it isn’t right on the surface anymore, doesn’t mean it’s gone.
Caleb: That’s what I’m afraid of. If I go off like that again-
Mark: No, c’mon, I’m not saying that you’re doomed, that your anger is always going to get the better of you, I’m- Listen, I’m not a therapist, but I've had my fair share of problems. And I did long before The AM decided to hijack my life. And mostly I had it handled. But it was the stuff that I didn’t focus on, that I didn’t actively think about that would always mess me up, you know?
Caleb: Like what?
Mark: My relationship with my parents is not good. And I spent a lot of time telling myself that I didn’t care, that it didn’t matter. But it- it’s caused some problems in my life. Because I wasn’t handling it.
Caleb: And now you are?
Mark: Survey says not really. But you’re young, you’ve been in therapy, you’ve got a good support system, you’ll figure it out.
Mark: I don’t know, kid. I don’t think I really know how to live life anymore. But I do know that pushing everything down and hoping those dark days don’t come isn’t gonna work. You have to own your demons.
Caleb: Yeah. Okay. I think I know what you mean.
Mark: Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear-
Caleb: Dude, it’s fine. Say whatever the fuck you want.
Mark: Okay, thanks. I just, uh- Sam was right. As always. I need to talk to my sister.
Caleb: Is Damien- is he gonna be okay?
Mark: I have no idea.
Caleb: Wow, what is going on with you right now?
Caleb: Your feelings, they’re- sorry, but they’re all over the fucking place.
Caleb: Dude, you have an anger problem. And that’s coming from me.
Mark: Duly noted. Alright, you gotta come inside too. I can’t leave you alone out in the open like this.
Caleb: I don’t- I don’t want be in there. It feels like-
Mark: I know. But we’ll get through it. Go find Adam - he makes you feel better, yeah?
Mark: You know, he’s not really what I expected.
Caleb: What do you mean?
Mark: He’s a good kid.
Mark: No, it’s just his aunt-
Caleb: She’s not great, huh?
Mark: Yeah. That’s a way of putting it.
Caleb: He didn’t know about her.
Mark: Yeah, I don’t think many people do.
Mark: Wadsworth has a lot of different faces. I know my sister saw a couple and I’m sure your guy has seen one of the nicer faces, but I think I’m the only one who’s seen the real thing. Just- be careful.
Caleb: Adam wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
Mark: No, I know that. I don’t need your ability to know how much he loves you. It’s just that-
Caleb: God, you’re really angry. And it's like, a million other things. Are you sure you wanna go back in there?
Mark: Yeah, yeah, sorry, just ignore me. I didn’t mean to freak you out- you guys are fine. Just go upstairs and just focus on keeping yourself together, okay?
Mark: Good man.
[sfx: back door opening]
[sfx: Sam walking into living room]
Sam: Um, Chloe?
Sam: What are you doing?
Chloe: Oh, just having a little lie down.
Sam: Are you okay?
Chloe: Might have a concussion. But it’s okay. Because I can still hear stuff.
Sam: Okay. Where’s Joan?
Chloe: In search of ice.
Sam: Chloe, are you alright?
Chloe: Yeah. Yeah, I’m just a little- it’s been a day, hasn’t it? And that lamp in Dr. Bright’s office is so heavy. My head hurts. And I’m feeling a bit loopy. I’ll be fine in a few minutes, I’m sure. Everything is just a little scrambled at the moment.
Sam: You mean thoughts?
Chloe: Yeah. It’s just like the radio keeps tuning into different stations, you know? But they’re not gone. Which is good. Apparently. I guess that can happen sometimes with telepaths.
Chloe: Like getting hit on the head just knocks the power right out. I mean, not really, but it can- I guess it can make things harder.
Sam: But that’s not happening to you?
Chloe: I don’t think so.
Sam: Well that’s one piece of good news then.
Chloe: Is it?
Chloe: I don’t know, there’s a small part of me that wonders- things haven’t been easy, Sam. I’ve gotten to a place with this where I can control it, where it isn’t controlling me anymore as much as the other way around but it still gets in the way. I mean, I see the look on your face when Mark and I communicate telepathically. I hate that you feel left out-
Sam: Chloe, you really don’t need to worry about that right now-
Chloe: And Caleb- I hate when I say the wrong thing and embarrass him or I hear something in Frank’s thoughts and then I either have to pretend not to hear it or I have to bring it up but he doesn’t always want to talk about stuff and I never know! I never know and sometimes I can’t help it. And my mom- my mom has so many secrets and I didn’t know that before but now it’s like there’s a hidden door in her brain that I found and I don’t want to go in but I know it’s there and I can’t un-know it and it’s made things so weird between us and I can’t stop it! I can’t stop listening and opening my mouth and blurting things out and I know I shouldn’t, I’m trying to keep it all in, but my brain is just one brain and it gets crowded and something has to leave or my head will explode and there's- there’s just a little part of me that thinks maybe having everyone else’s thoughts knocked out of me wouldn’t be so bad.
[sfx: Dr. Bright entering the room]
Dr. Bright: Well, no ice, but I figured a cold washcloth can’t hurt.
Chloe: Thanks, Dr. Bright.
[sfx: Mark entering the room]
Sam: Chloe, I-
Mark: Why is Chloe on the floor?
Sam: We think she has a concussion.
Mark: Wow, this night just keeps getting better and better.
Dr. Bright: Mark-
Mark: How’s the patient?
[sfx: Frank entering the room]
Frank: Here, I’ve got more bandages if we need them-
Sam: We’ve mostly been able to stop the bleeding. I think he’s tried to open his eyes a couple times?
Mark: Yeah, Joanie, I know- internal injuries- we still don’t know what could be wrong.
Dr. Bright: You know I’m right.
Mark: There has to be another option.
Dr. Bright: Do you hear me thinking of other options? If there was one, you would know.
Chloe: No, he knows you’re right but he- Mark, I'm- I didn’t know. But it wouldn’t have to be like that for him. You don’t know that it would be like that.
Mark: Chloe, you’re great, but you need to get the fuck out of my head right now.
Mark: No, I’m not hashing this out with all of you right now. This isn’t the time for a trip down memory lane. We are not taking him there.
Frank: Mark, I know our experiences were very different, but they’re not all bad there-
Mark: You don’t know, okay?
Sam: But your sister does. She could make sure he goes into the right hands.
Mark: No she couldn’t. Could you, Joan? Wadsworth would get to him anyway.
Chloe: Isn’t that what he wanted in the first place?
Mark: He has no idea what he wants-
Dr. Bright: Mark-
Mark: Come on, Damien, just wake up. You hate me making decisions for you - don’t let me do this.
Sam: Mark, I don’t think that that's-
Mark: You have three choices, okay? Which is more than you ever gave me, but I’m a better man than you and you know that. You could stay here and maybe die, right on this couch, or you can go to The AM, get better and maybe never leave, or we can call the Hayes and pray to god that Wadsworth isn’t monitoring them.
[sfx: Caleb and Adam entering room]
Adam: She’s with them right now.
Dr. Bright: What?
Adam: I called them to see if they would help-
Caleb: Don’t yell at him.
Adam: Don’t worry, I called from the landline like Sam told us to. Our cellphones are still off, she can’t track us here.
Chloe: And Annabelle was with them?
Adam: Yeah. She told them what happened- I didn’t expect her to do that. They’d been trying to call me, they were worried sick-
Mark: Do they know where you are?
Adam: No, I told them I was with Caleb and we were fine. With Annabelle there, I didn’t know what to say-
Mark: Thank god.
Dr. Bright: So that option’s out if we want to keep Ellie away from this.
Adam: I’m sorry-
Caleb: It’s not your fault-
Adam: I don’t think Annabelle would hurt anyone-
Mark: Listen kid, I know she’s your aunt, but that woman is a monster-
Sam: Mark, easy-
Mark: I’m just being honest-
Chloe: If we’re being honest, Damien’s moral compass doesn’t exactly point due north either-
Mark: It’s not the same. He doesn’t know what she’s like- none of you do. Well, except maybe you, Chloe, I don’t know-
Chloe: I really have tried not to listen.
Dr. Bright: Then help us understand, Mark-
Mark: You of all people should understand-
Dr. Bright: I’m trying to but you won’t talk to me-
Mark: Because that’s all I did with him! I haven’t been able to talk about it because every time I try, I think about being in motel rooms feeling like my body was never going to work again and telling a stranger some of the worst things that have ever happened to me. And everything was so bright and loud and it hurt to touch anything and I just kept telling him things and I didn’t get why and I- I- don’t know how to talk about it. I want to stop remembering but the more I try to forget, the more I dream about it. I can’t close my eyes without hearing the machines and smelling the chemicals and I just- I don’t know how, Joanie- I don’t know how.
Dr. Bright: Okay. It’s okay, I understand.
Mark: But I didn’t tell him about her- maybe if I had, he wouldn’t’ve- but, even with his ability, my brain just didn’t want to dredge all that stuff up-
Dr. Bright: Mark, I don’t know what you mean-
Mark: Do you really want to have this out now? No, don’t answer that- I know you do. I can hear you, all of you- I feel the curiosity pouring out of you-
Dr. Bright: Mark, I’m worried about you. I don’t know how to help you-
Mark: She said that she would hurt you.
Dr. Bright: What?
Mark: When I wouldn’t cooperate, she- they would try different things to get me to do what they wanted.
Dr. Bright: Did they- was it- you mean torture?
Mark: Not in the traditional sense. Not in the ways that it happens in the movies. They never tried to hurt us. Not physically. I mean, maybe some of them didn’t care if we were in pain during the experiments, but they didn’t try to inflict it. It’s counter productive - you can’t harm the thing you’re trying to study.
Dr. Bright: Mark-
Mark: But sometimes- they would want me to try something- try something with another atypical and I wouldn’t because- well, sometimes it can hurt the other person. If the other person wasn’t strong enough or if they had a power that’s not meant to be shared or- or- I don’t always do well with a bunch of atypicals at once and I— I didn’t realize because I never- I never tried to overtake other people’s abilities before. But The AM, they wanted to see how powerful I was so they would make me. And it hurt the others. And so I wouldn’t want to, I wouldn’t want to participate because I never want to hurt anyone but they would make me.
Dr. Bright: How?
Mark: She started by threatening you. She knew all this stuff about you and I didn’t get how - I thought she must have been spying on you. But she’d say that just because they can’t hurt me doesn’t mean they can’t hurt you. And she would- oh god, Joanie she would be specific about it. About what they would do.
Dr. Bright: Wadsworth did this?
Dr. Bright: How often? Not- that’s not important, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to-
Mark: No, I know. Not a lot. But enough for me to stop believing that she would ever follow through. So she changed tactic. She started to tell me that not using my ability would drive me insane. That she’d seen it- atypicals gone bad from- from lack of use.
Dr. Bright: God-
Caleb: I think I’m gonna be sick-
Caleb: There’s just too much right now-
Mark: And jesus, who even knows what she did when I was asleep. I didn’t- I really didn’t like the way she looked at me sometimes.
Dr. Bright: What do you mean?
Mark: Like she- like she’d been missing one piece for a jigsaw puzzle and then found it stuck to her shoe. You’re hurt. And not just on my behalf.
Dr. Bright: Mark, I-
Mark: Did you really not know who she was?
Dr. Bright: I knew that she could be cold, but I-
Mark: God Joanie, how could you not see it? I can maybe forgive you working there but being friends with that woman-
Dr. Bright: Do you think I would have been friends with her if I’d had any idea?
Mark: You’re the most brilliant person I know, Joanie, how were you so blind to what was going on around you?
Dr. Bright: I don’t know. I don't know, but she- she believed in me. I know that might not seem like a lot to you, because you- all your friends, and your professors, the college papers that would review your art shows- they thought you hung the moon and the stars. I’d never had that. She was the first person who believed that my hypotheses and my proposals were good, she took me under her wing and that- that really counts for something when you’re surrounded by men who think the old way of doing things is the only way, even though you know there’s a better way. She- she was supposed to help me find the better way. She believed in me and I got swept up in it-
Mark: I believed in you, Joanie. And you pushed me away. You went into your secret science world where I couldn’t follow you and I knew- I knew there was someone you were trying to impress. And then when I realized who it was-
Dr. Bright: What do you mean?
Mark: After I saw you, right before Camille died and I got trapped, I realized that you worked there. And then I had all that time to piece it together. God, I had years to just sit and think about it. And it all fit together- you had a job that you loved and you couldn’t talk about it and you admired your boss and there was that guy that you thought maybe had a crush on you- I mean, everything you’d been telling me before I got taken, it all matched up. Well, the Agent Green thing I didn’t figure out on my own but Wadsworth- it was clear she was always the smartest person in the room. Of course you’d look up to her. And then there were times when I thought that it was all some sort of elaborate set-up. That you were in on it from the start-
Dr. Bright: Mark, how could think that? I would never-
Mark: You’d be surprised the conclusions that a mind can come to when it’s left alone for years. There was a stretch in there when I was afraid of you. When I hated you.
Dr. Bright: Mark-
Mark: But I would just think about the look on your face when you saw me in that cell and remember how shocked you looked. How scared. Yeah, a little bit like how you look now. I was alone with my thoughts for so long and then when I got back, I just tried to bury it. I tried to bury it deep enough that Damien couldn’t get to it but being here with all of you, I feel like my ability’s trying to rip me open.
Mark: Do you get it, now? We can’t take him there. He’s- no one deserves that. Not even him.
Dr. Bright: Okay.
Mark: Joan, I need you to be with me on this. You owe me this.
Dr. Bright: I am. I’m with you.
Mark: I can hear what you’re thinking and I can feel what you’re feeling. You’re not.
Dr. Bright: He could die, Mark. If we keep him here, he could die.
Mark: But he might not, right? We could take of him.
Sam: If he doesn’t wake up soon…
Frank: He might not wake up at all.
[sfx: Chloe standing]
Sam: Whoa, Chloe, easy-
Chloe: It’s fine, I can stand. Maybe it’s the fact that I have golf ball sized lump on my head that Damien put there, and my brain feels like it’s been put through a blender, or maybe I just always have to be the person who says the thing that nobody else wants to say but: what on earth do we owe him? I think we can all agree that we don’t want him to die, but he hasn’t earned our protection. If The AM can help him then that’s where he should go. It’s that simple.
Mark: No, it isn’t. How can you say that after everything I just said?
Chloe: Because, Mark, we don’t know that the samething will happen. And because I can hear everyone else’s thoughts too. I’ve heard how Damien treated your sister for a year, how much he scared Adam:, what he said he was going to do to Sam:-
Mark: What? What was he going to do to Sam? He said what?
Chloe: -and I know I can’t hear his thoughts, so I don’t know what’s really going on in there, but I can hear yours, Mark. And Damien had his chance to do the right thing again and again and he chose not to.
Mark: That doesn’t mean that he deserves to be abused-
Caleb: But he’ll die if he stays here, right? I mean, he could? And I can’t- we can’t let that happen. We can’t let him die.
Mark: Well, none of you seem that fond of him so don’t bother crying crocodile tears over it.
Frank: We can’t do that to Caleb, he shouldn’t have to live with that-
Mark: I know! Okay? I know. I’m not- I don’t want him to die but I- it’s an impossible choice, okay?
Dr. Bright: But someone has to make it. Whether or not we like it, Damien’s life is in our hands now.
Chloe: Well? What are we going to do with it?
[music & credits]
Lauren Shippen: Episode 40 was written and directed by Lauren Shippen and produced by Mischa Stanton. In this episode you heard the voices of Julia Morizawa as Dr. Bright, Anna Lore as Chloe, Lauren Shippen as Sam, Andrew Nowak as Mark, Briggon Snow as Caleb, Alex Gallner as Adam, Phillip Jordan as Frank, and Charlie Ian as Damien. Our music is composed and performed by Evan Cunningham. Production help was provided by Jeff van Dreason. The song that Sam sings is “Someone Like You” by Paolo Nutini. The Bright Sessions would like to thank Mark Holden and Invisible Studios, Erin Sadler, Meghan Fitzmartin, Elizabeth Laird, Anna Lore, Elizabeth and Matthew Harrington, Ken Hertz, Ilyssa Adler, Oswaldo Rossi, and Authentic. The Bright Sessions will return in the fall with Season Four. Until then, thanks for listening and stay strange.